Super Funny Quotes Biography
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That awkward moment when you post a funny status on Facebook and someone has to ruin it by commenting being all serious.
224 up, 42 down
Unknown quotes | added by: 07kyle07
Facebook Status quotes Shit Happens quotes Facebook quotes
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I used to like watching the Carol Burnett Show. I thought Carol Burnett was very funny. And I liked Madeline Kahn a lot because in my house we were watching a lot of Mel Brooks movies and she was always in them and super funny. And Gilda Radner. I used to like watching Saturday Night Live. I always thought that she was hilarious.
1 up, 4 down
Paul Rudd quotes
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oketa_ojokJust because I like your Facebook status does not mean I want to sleep, date, or hangout with you...
1629 up, 737 down
Oketa Ojok quotes | added by: oketa_ojok
Humor quotes Funny Facebook Status quotes Keeping It Real quotes
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blackhartDear people who update their Facebook status every 30 seconds, there's Twitter for a reason!
1574 up, 736 down
Unknown quotes | added by: blackhart
Funny Facebook Status quotes Twitter quotes Internet quotes Annoying People quotes
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tedFor April Fools Day, I think Facebook should switch the search box and the status update box around. So people would post updates on who they stalk.
1125 up, 319 down
Unknown quotes | added by: ted
Funny quotes April Fools Day quotes Facebook quotes Funny Facebook Status quotes
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I bet that in prison everyone's FB relationship status is set to
I bet that in prison everyone's FB relationship status is set to "it's complicated".
1599 up, 604 down
Unknown quotes
Funny Facebook Status quotes Complicated Relationship quotes
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Congratulations!! You are the 100th person to view my status. To see your prize please click Control + W.
Congratulations!! You are the 100th person to view my status. To see your prize please click Control + W.
953 up, 408 down
Unknown quotes
Funny Facebook Status quotes Prizes quotes
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Not to name names, but I know some of you update your status from your phone so it appears like you actually left the house. -Sent from my iPhone
Not to name names, but I know some of you update your status from your phone so it appears like you actually left the house. -Sent from my iPhone
501 up, 189 down
Unknown quotes
Funny Facebook Status quotes Cell Phone quotes
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Mom: Your great aunt just passed away. LOL Me: Why is that funny? Mom: It's not funny David! What do you mean? Me: Mom lol means laughing out loud! Mom: Oh my goodness! I sent that to everyone I thought it meant lots of love. I have to call everyone back oh God.
Mom: Your great aunt just passed away. LOL Me: Why is that funny? Mom: It's not funny David! What do you mean? Me: Mom lol means laughing out loud! Mom: Oh my goodness! I sent that to everyone I thought it meant lots of love. I have to call everyone back oh God.
711 up, 111 down
Unknown quotes
Funny Facebook Status quotes Long quotes
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Saying I don't take my meds because they make me feel funny. Is like cannibals saying they don't eat clowns because the taste funny.
Saying I don't take my meds because they make me feel funny. Is like cannibals saying they don't eat clowns because the taste funny.
339 up, 382 down
Stanley Victor Paskavich quotes
Funny quotes Facebook quotes Funny Facebook Status quotes Clever Facebook Status quotes
Vagina jokes aren't funny. Period.
Vagina jokes aren't funny. Period.
1151 up, 326 down
Unknown quotes
Funny Facebook Status quotes Short quotes Funny quotes Jokes quotes
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Deja Vu is when God thinks something is so funny, that he has to rewind it to show it to his friends.
Deja Vu is when God thinks something is so funny, that he has to rewind it to show it to his friends.
474 up, 177 down
Unknown quotes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
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Becca21OH NICE, so you can update your status via mobile, but you cant text me back?
769 up, 98 down
Unknown quotes | added by: Becca21
Funny Facebook Status quotes Facebook Status quotes Clever Facebook Status quotes Witty Facebook Status quotes
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dannyxEverybody knows somebody who's Facebook relationship status should be 'Still banging my ex.'
389 up, 73 down
Unknown quotes | added by: dannyx
Facebook quotes Facebook Status quotes Funny quotes Ex Girlfriend quotes Ex Boyfriend quotes Sex quotes Friends With Benefits quotes Keeping It Real quotes
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seandixonI get super paranoid whenever I walk into a store with something that they sell there...
32 up, 4 down
Unknown quotes | added by: seandixon
Facebook Status quotes Suspicion quotes Anxiety quotes Theft quotes Funny quotes Sales quotes
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dannyxThe first status on Facebook in 2013: 'Is anyone alive?'
369 up, 140 down
Unknown quotes | added by: dannyx
Facebook quotes Funny Facebook Status quotes End Of The World quotes New Year quotes New Years Day quotes
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...condom says to the tampon,
...condom says to the tampon, "You put me out of a job for 1 week a month!" The tampon replies, "When you don't do your job properly, I lose mine for 9 months!"
4240 up, 948 down
Unknown quotes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
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I wonder if fat drug dealers sell diet coke.
I wonder if fat drug dealers sell diet coke.
1952 up, 608 down
Charlie Sheen quotes
Funny Facebook Status quotes Wonder quotes Funny quotes Sales quotes
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A man asks a trainer in the gym:
A man asks a trainer in the gym: "I want 2 impress that beautiful girl , which machine can I use?" Trainer replies: "Use the ATM"
1957 up, 486 down
Unknown quotes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
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Decided to burn lots of calories today so I set a fat kid on fire.
Decided to burn lots of calories today so I set a fat kid on fire.
1654 up, 779 down
Unknown quotes
Funny Facebook Status quotes Fire quotes
If a Police Officer says, Anything you say will be taken down & used as evidence... Your answer should always be, Please don't hit me again officer...
If a Police Officer says, Anything you say will be taken down & used as evidence... Your answer should always be, Please don't hit me again officer...
1662 up, 333 down
Unknown quotes
Funny Facebook Status quotes Police quotes
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Touch it gently, put two fingers inside, if it's wide use three fingers, make sure it's wet and rub up and down. Yep that's how you wash a cup.
Touch it gently, put two fingers inside, if it's wide use three fingers, make sure it's wet and rub up and down. Yep that's how you wash a cup.
5314 up, 1492 down
Unknown quotes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
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The teacher asks Timmy
The teacher asks Timmy "why is your cat at school today?" Timmy says, crying, "Because I heard my daddy say to my mommy, 'I'm going to eat that pussy when the kids leave.' so I'm saving him!"
7950 up, 1646 down
Unknown quotes
Funny Facebook Status quotes Long quotes
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Grammar is important! Capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse and helping your Uncle jack off a horse.
Grammar is important! Capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse and helping your Uncle jack off a horse.
1708 up, 453 down
Unknown quotes
Funny Facebook Status quotes Grammar quotes Interesting quotes
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The awkward moment when wikipedia has copied your homework.
The awkward moment when wikipedia has copied your homework.
1922 up, 378 down
Unknown quotes
Funny Facebook Status quotes Homework quotes
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If you're talking behind my back, you're in a good position to kiss my ass!
If you're talking behind my back, you're in a good position to kiss my ass!
5789 up, 1066 down
Unknown quotes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
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Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Never mind, it's too long.
Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Never mind, it's too long.
2985 up, 940 down
Unknown quotes
Funny Facebook Status quotes Short quotes
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May the itch of a thousand crabs affect the one who ruins your day and may their arms be too short to scratch.
May the itch of a thousand crabs affect the one who ruins your day and may their arms be too short to scratch.
650 up, 216 down
Unknown quotes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
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I want to make a Facebook account and the name will be Nobody so when I see stupid crap people post, I can Like it. And it will say Nobody Likes This.
I want to make a Facebook account and the name will be Nobody so when I see stupid crap people post, I can Like it. And it will say Nobody Likes This.
13413 up, 2508 down
Unknown quotes
Best quotes Funny Facebook Status quotes Witty Facebook Status quotes
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In the past, when you were angry with someone you fought them. Now you just delete them off Facebook. That'll teach 'em to fuck with you.
In the past, when you were angry with someone you fought them. Now you just delete them off Facebook. That'll teach 'em to fuck with you.
3413 up, 621 down
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