Happy Birthday Funny Quotes Biography
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I'm most comfortable in my birthday suit.
Amanda Seyfried
Suit
Some people won't go the extra mile, and then on their birthday, when no one makes a fuss, they feel neglected and bitter.
Anne Lamott
Makes, Bitter, Neglected
Mum loves me being famous! She is so excited and proud, as she had me so young and couldn't support me, so I am living her dream, it's sweeter for both of us. It's her 40th birthday soon and I'm going to buy her 40 presents.
Adele
Famous, Living, Young
You know, maybe I was just born in the wrong time, but I love all things romantic. Puffy understands that. For my last birthday, he covered my hotel room floor with rose petals and had flowers and candles all over the room.
Jennifer Lopez
Romantic, Love, Time
The worst part about celebrating another birthday is the shock that you're only as well as you are.
Anne Lamott
Worst, Another, Shock
Every day, every birthday candle I blow out, every penny I throw over my shoulder in a wishing well, every time my daughter says, 'Let's make a wish on a star,' there's one thing I wish for: wisdom.
Rene Russo
Time, Wisdom, Wish
I just had my 30th birthday and we went turkey shooting. It's what I wanted to do, so we went.
Kelly Clarkson
Turkey, Shooting
I'm a summer baby, so I usually have my birthday as a good summer memory.
Sloane Crosley
Good, Memory, Baby
Cakes are special. Every birthday, every celebration ends with something sweet, a cake, and people remember. It's all about the memories.
Buddy Valastro
Remember, Special, Sweet
I'm not a big birthday guy; I never have been.
Lewis Black
Guy
I gave a funny speech at my wife's birthday party, and I'm thinking, 'Hey, I've still got it.'
Larry David
Funny, Thinking, Wife
I often go to bed in my birthday suit. But I like teddies and cute little undies that match. I like a sexy bra and panty set, or little shorts.
Queen Latifah
Sexy, Often, Cute
Having a birthday cake squashed into your face by young kids? Delicious. I always don a Santa suit at Christmas. Remaining childish is a tremendous state of innocence.
John Lydon
Christmas, Young, Kids
I like to go to anybody else's birthday, and if I'm invited I'm a good guest. But I never celebrate my birthdays. I really don't care.
Mikhail Baryshnikov
Good, Care, Else
My best kiss was on stage. Kelly Rowland from Destiny's Child gave me a really nice soft kiss on my lips during a performance on my birthday. It was amazing.
Chris Brown
Best, Amazing, Nice
When I was in elementary school, I used to write letters to myself. I'd write letters and go 'Dear Kristen-at-16-years-old, happy birthday. I hope you're doing something.'
Kristin Kreuk
Hope, Happy, School
I tried to bake a cake for my mother's birthday - it took me four hours. It was terrible, and I cried for three days.
Rachael Ray
Mother, Days, Three
I trained to be a priest - started to. I went to seminary school when I was 11. I wanted to be a priest, but when they told me I could never have sex, not even on my birthday, I changed my mind.
Johnny Vegas
Mind, School, Sex
I left school on my 15th birthday.
David Bailey
School, Left
My happiest memory of childhood was my first birthday in reform school. This teacher took an interest in me. In fact, he gave me the first birthday presents I ever got: a box of Cracker Jacks and a can of ABC shoe polish.
Flip Wilson
Teacher, School, Memory
I want a chainsaw very badly, because I think cutting down a tree would be unbelievably satisfying. I have asked for a chainsaw for my birthday, but I think I'll probably be given jewelry instead.
Susan Orlean
Tree, Jewelry, Asked
I threw my 20th birthday party at Brown, and I didn't even have to say to anyone not to put pictures on Facebook. Not a single picture went up. That was when I knew I'd found a solid group of friends, and I felt like I belonged.
Emma Watson
Friends, Single, Group
It is ironic that the one thing that all religions recognize as separating us from our creator, our very self-consciousness, is also the one thing that divides us from our fellow creatures. It was a bitter birthday present from evolution.
Annie Dillard
Bitter, Present, Ironic
I think the best thing about my job is that I have my life documented, which not many people get to have. They have a photo here and there and maybe some video footage from a birthday. My kids will be able to see me growing up.
Kirsten Dunst
Life, Best, Job
I had been offered a Hollywood contract before my 18th birthday. It gave me the spark I needed.
Gene Tierney
Hollywood, Gave, Needed
When I was a kid, for my birthday every year, my mother made me pasta bechamel, which is rigatoni with a white cream sauce.
Giada De Laurentiis
Mother, Year, Kid
My ace in the hole as a human being used to be my capacity for remembering birthdays. I worked at it. Whenever I made a new friend, I made a point of finding out his or her birthday early on, and I would record it in my Filofax calendar.
Susan Orlean
Friend, Her, Used
John Candy knew he was going to die. He told me on his 40th birthday. He said, well, Maureen, I'm on borrowed time.
Maureen O'Hara
Death, Time, Die
Anybody can have a birthday. It requires nothing. Murderers have birthdays. It's the opposite of anything that I believe in. And I don't like at work where you stop everything to sing 'Happy Birthday' to someone. I feel like that's for children.
Mindy Kaling
Work, Happy, Children
The day before my 16th birthday I got my guitar.
Stevie Nicks
Guitar
Interventions are really emotionally exhausting and I would never ever want to have one. In the same way, I would never want to have a surprise birthday party. That would be horrible.
Margaret Cho
Surprise, Party, Horrible
When I was six, my best friend's parents bought him a piano. My mother noticed that every time I would go to his house, the first thing I would say to him was 'Levester' - His name was Levester - I said, 'Levester, can I go play your piano?' So, on my 7th birthday, my parents bought me a piano.
Herbie Hancock
Time, Best, Mother
I had arranged a birthday party for him and my children, who are all Aquarians. Instead, we got married. I ran out of excuses. It was just us and my children.
Diane von Furstenberg
Children, Him, Married
The first guitar I ever got was for my 13th birthday.
Rick Springfield
Guitar
Success happened little by little for me. I tasted the flavor of fame in small doses: I started at 10 years old when I won a music contest; I was performing at birthday parties, company meetings.
Shakira
Success, Music, Small
The Queen of Crafts herself, Martha Stewart, and I have the same birthday. I prefer to think it's the glue-gun wielding, perfect-tart-producing Martha and not the copper pan-throwing, jail-going Martha. But I suppose if I am going to share a calendar square with some of Martha, I have to share it with all of Martha.
Sloane Crosley
Share, Queen, Herself
Since graduation, I have measured time in 4-by-5-inch pieces of paper, four days on the left and three on the right. Every social engagement, interview, reading, flight, doctor's appointment, birthday and dry-cleaning reminder has been handwritten between metal loops.
Sloane Crosley
Time, Graduation, Social
If we celebrate Martin Luther King Jr.'s birthday at a time of presidential inaugurals, this is thanks to Ronald Reagan who created the holiday, and not to the Democratic Congress of the Carter years, which rejected it.
David Horowitz
History, Time, Congress
Every year before a big competition, I get hurt doing stuff I should not be doing. One year it was my little brother's 12th birthday. We all played hide-and-seek late at night. I climbed up a 30-foot tree, thinking he'd never catch me. I tripped and fell on one of the branches and I hit my head.
Ryan Lochte
Hurt, Thinking, Night
I played rugby for years, and I had a rugby jacket that I lost when I was 14. Somehow, my brother found it in storage 15 years later, and he gave it back to me for my 30th birthday. That was amazing and probably one of the best gifts I've ever received.
Ryan Reynolds
Best, Amazing, Lost
Citizens, thank you for all your birthday wishes. I am 88 years old today and still lucky to live in the greatest city in the world.
Ed Koch
Today, Greatest, Old
I guess I could say I'm an actor, which I am, but that sounds like I'm putting down being a movie star, which, let's face it, is what I've become to many people. For myself, I'm a guy who was very insecure from about age 14 until the day I hit my 30th birthday.
Dennis Quaid
Age, Face, Insecure
I get uncomfortable when people give me presents and watch me open them. I don't have birthday parties, because the idea of a group of people singing and looking at me while I'm blowing out candles gives me hives.
Brit Marling
Looking, Group, Idea
I wanted to be the next Dana Carvey. This was my ultimate goal. If I ever cut into a birthday cake and made a wish, I would wish to be on 'Saturday Night Live.' If I threw a coin into a fountain, I would wish to be on 'Saturday Night Live.' If I saw a shooting star, I would wish to be on 'Saturday Night Live.'
Jimmy Fallon
Night, Goal, Wish
I saw Richard Linklater's film 'Slacker' for my twenty-first birthday. That was the moment when it all seemed possible. This guy gave me hope.
Kevin Smith
Hope, Moment, Film
For Tim Burton's birthday I gave him a rainbow beetle. He loved it!
Eva Green
Loved, Him, Rainbow
I've got some incredible fans actually - so loyal and they make me birthday cards and Christmas cards. I got this package of poems and artwork based around the songs. They've got this thing called 'Floetry' where they all have to put in artwork. They've set up their own competitions and stuff which is kind of amazing.
Florence Welch
Christmas, Amazing, Actually
All my favorite stars, my family and my friends are here. I'm having the happiest birthday that an 18-year-old girl could ever have.
Brandy Norwood
Family, Girl, Friends
We all have special numbers in our lives, and 4 is that for me. It's the day I was born. My mother's birthday, and a lot of my friends' birthdays, are on the fourth; April 4 is my wedding date.
Beyonce Knowles
Wedding, Mother, Friends
If you are an actress in L.A., on your 40th birthday they should just hand you the keys to the lunatic asylum.
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