Funny Short Quotes Biography
source (google.com.pk)
Mark Twain
Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.
Gore Vidal
Never have children, only grandchildren.
Elayne Boosler
I'm just a person trapped inside a woman's body.
Lily Tomlin
If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?
Bertrand Russell
Most people would die sooner than think; in fact, they do.
William Shakespeare
The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers.
Lisa Hoffman
Love is like pi: natural, irrational, and very important.
Quentin Crisp
If at first you don't succeed, failure may be your style.
Mary Schmich
Like many women my age, I am 28 years old.
Jonathan Winters
I couldn't wait for success, so I went ahead without it.
Mark Twain
Familiarity breeds contempt... and children.
Helen Giangregorio
He who laughs last didn't get it.
Philander Johnson
Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.
Honoré de Balzac
Behind every great fortune there is a crime.
Tom Wilson, Ziggy
Honesty is the best image.
Will Rogers
Common sense ain't common.
Mark Twain
When in doubt, tell the truth.
Marvin Kitman
A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage.
Haythum R. Khalid
All power corrupts, but we need electricity.
Gary Kasparov
Chess is mental torture.
George Bernard Shaw
Do not try to live for ever. You will not succeed.
The family has gathered in the lawyer’s office for the announcement of Jack’s Last Will and Testament.
“To my dear wife, Mary, I leave our house, all our land, and $1 million. To my son, Daniel, I leave my Lexus, the Jaguar, and $500,000. And to my brother-in-law, Steve, who always insisted to me that health is better than wealth, I leave my exercise equipment!”
Jan
03
Top 5 Question Answer Short Jokes
Posted In: One Liner Jokes, Short Jokes
Q: What did Jay-Z call his girlfriend before they got married?
A: Feyoncé!!
Q: Why can’t a bike stand on itself?
A: Because It is two tired.
Q: Why was six scared of seven?
A: Because seven was a well known six offender.
Q: What do you call a big pile of kittens?
A: A meowntain.
Q: How does NASA organize their company parties?
A: They planet.
Sep
17
Reader Writer and Tiger
Posted In: Short Jokes
One day a tiger was walking through the jungle, tiger saw two men relaxing under a tree. One was reading a newspaper, and the other was working feverishly on a manual typewriter.
The tiger leapt on the man with the newspaper, and ate him up. The tiger did not bother the other man at all. That’s because any predator knows that readers digest but writers cramp.
Jul
25
Turn him Around
Posted In: Short Jokes
Nurse: “Doctor, the man you just treated collapsed on the front step. What should I do?”
Doctor: “Turn him around so it looks like he was just arriving!”
Jul
14
How much is a Room
Posted In: Short Jokes
A man called a hotel. “How much is a room?” The clerk said, “It depends on the size of the room and the number of people.” “Do you take children?” asked the man. “No, sir,” replied the clerk. “Only cash and credit cards!”
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