Funny Marriage Quotes Biography
source (google.com.pk)
A successful marriage is an edifice that must be rebuilt every day.
Andre Maurois
Successful, Edifice, Rebuilt
Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come in and sink my boats.
Woody Allen
Home, Wife, Immature
Well married a person has wings, poorly married shackles.
Henry Ward Beecher
Married, Wings, Poorly
There is nothing nobler or more admirable than when two people who see eye to eye keep house as man and wife, confounding their enemies and delighting their friends.
Homer
Friends, Enemy, Wife
There's only one way to have a happy marriage and as soon as I learn what it is I'll get married again.
Clint Eastwood
Happy, Learn, Again
Husbands are like fires - they go out when they're left unattended.
Cher
Left, Husbands, Fires
Love is moral even without legal marriage, but marriage is immoral without love.
Ellen Key
Love, Legal, Moral
The first time you marry for love, the second for money, and the third for companionship.
Jackie Kennedy
Love, Time, Money
A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short.
Andre Maurois
Happy, Short, Seems
If there is such a thing as a good marriage, it is because it resembles friendship rather than love.
Michel de Montaigne
Love, Friendship, Good
Marriage resembles a pair of shears, so joined that they cannot be separated; often moving in opposite directions, yet always punishing anyone who comes between them.
Sydney Smith
Moving, Cannot, Between
Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can't help but smile on it.
Josh Billings
Love, God, Smile
It's not beauty but fine qualities, my girl, that keep a husband.
Euripides
Beauty, Girl, Husband
Men have a much better time of it than women. For one thing, they marry later; for another thing, they die earlier.
H. L. Mencken
Time, Women, Men
By our Heavenly Father and only because of God, only because of God. We're like other couples. We do not get along perfectly; we do not go without arguments and, as I call them, fights, and heartache and pain and hurting each other. But a marriage is three of us.
Barbara Mandrell
God, Pain, Father
Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.
Ambrose Bierce
Community, Making, Mistress
Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside equally desperate to get out.
Michel de Montaigne
Desperate, Inside, Outside
Marriage is a series of desperate arguments people feel passionately about.
Katharine Hepburn
Desperate, Argument, Series
The true index of a man's character is the health of his wife.
Cyril Connolly
Health, True, Character
There were three of us in this marriage, so it was a bit crowded.
Princess Diana
Three, Bit, Crowded
Bachelors have consciences, married men have wives.
Samuel Johnson
Men, Married, Wives
Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
Rita Rudner
Men, Pain, Jewelry
A man marries to have a home, but also because he doesn't want to be bothered with sex and all that sort of thing.
W. Somerset Maugham
Home, Sex, Bothered
An ideal wife is one who remains faithful to you but tries to be just as charming as if she weren't.
Sacha Guitry
Wife, Faithful, She
The majority of husbands remind me of an orangutan trying to play the violin.
Honore de Balzac
Getting divorced just because you don't love a man is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
Zsa Zsa Gabor
Love, Married, Getting
I think women are natural caretakers. They take care of everybody. They take care of their husbands and their kids and their dogs, and don't spend a lot of time just getting back and taking time out.
Reese Witherspoon
Time, Women, Care
Do not put such unlimited power into the hands of husbands. Remember all men would be tyrants if they could.
Abigail Adams
Power, Men, Remember
No man is regular in his attendance at the House of Commons until he is married.
Benjamin Disraeli
Married, Until, House
It destroys one's nerves to be amiable every day to the same human being.
Benjamin Disraeli
Nerves, Amiable, Destroys
It is a full time job being honest one moment at a time, remembering to love, to honor, to respect. It is a practice, a discipline, worthy of every moment.
Jasmine Guy
Love, Time, Respect
A psychiatrist asks a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing.
Joey Adams
Wife, Questions, Expensive
Marriage must incessantly contend with a monster that devours everything: familiarity.
Honore de Balzac
Monster, Contend, Devours
A wedding is a funeral where you smell your own flowers.
Eddie Cantor
Wedding, Flowers, Smell
Happiness in marriage is entirely a matter of chance.
Jane Austen
Happiness, Matter, Chance
If you made a list of reasons why any couple got married, and another list of the reasons for their divorce, you'd have a hell of a lot of overlapping.
Mignon McLaughlin
Hell, Married, Divorce
Love is often the fruit of marriage.
Moliere
Love, Often, Fruit
Marriage may be the closest thing to Heaven or Hell any of us will know on this earth.
Edwin Louis Cole
May, Hell, Earth
It takes patience to appreciate domestic bliss; volatile spirits prefer unhappiness.
George Santayana
Patience, Appreciate, Takes
Any intelligent woman who reads the marriage contract, and then goes into it, deserves all the consequences.
Isadora Duncan
Woman, Goes, Contract
Marriage is an attempt to solve problems together which you didn't even have when you were on your own.
Eddie Cantor
Together, Problems, Attempt
Marriage is nature's way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.
Alan King
Nature, Fighting, Strangers
A husband is what is left of a lover, after the nerve has been extracted.
Helen Rowland
Husband, Left, Lover
Almost no one is foolish enough to imagine that he automatically deserves great success in any field of activity; yet almost everyone believes that he automatically deserves success in marriage.
Sydney J. Harris
Success, Great, Enough
Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.
Billy Connolly
Again, Wonderful, Bicycle
Marriage should be a duet - when one sings, the other claps.
Joe Murray
Duet, Sings
Marriage is a bribe to make the housekeeper think she's a householder.
Thornton Wilder
She, Bribe
Plant and your spouse plants with you; weed and you weed alone.
Jean-Jacques Rousseau
Alone, Weed, Plants
My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives.
Rita Rudner
Husband, Child, Dog
The difficulty with marriage is that we fall in love with a personality, but must live with a character.
Peter De Vries
Love, Character, Fall
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